​So I order a mattress from Amazon, it's 10 inches thick, 38 inches wide and 80 inches long, the perfect size for the bunk. It came in a 3 1/2 x 2 foot box. I was thankful for that because how else would I squeeze a huge mattress inside the cab of a truck? I am using the upper bunk because when Julia rides along she can have the lower bunk. When she's not riding along, the bottom bunk turns into a dinette area, pretty cool huh. There's also a ladder for the upper bunk that's hidden and unfolds from behind the cabinets when needed. At my age I would rather have an escalator.

 

I bring the ladder down and place the mattress box on the top bunk and start cutting it open. Inside the box, as mentioned above, is a large 38 inch wide, 80 inch long by 10 inch thick mattress that weighs in at 35 pounds, all vacuumed sealed in some kind of very thick plastic Saran type of Wrapping. I remove the wrapped

mattress from the box and line it up in the bunk and start carefully

cutting it open. As I mentioned, the plastic wrapping is pretty thick so

I needed a very sharp knife. As I'm cutting it open I am reminded of

something I've seen in a sci-fi movie where an enormous creature starts

to give birth.​​​​

 

Now many of you have seen these life rafts that they use on cruise ships and when they pull the cord this huge raft explodes into the air similar to the birth of Gadzilla.

 

So here we go! I get to the end where a small piece of plastic is holding the rest of the mattress in place. Just one more cut. The 2 foot by 3.5 foot box explodes into a 10 inch by 3.25 foot by 7 foot mattress, ALL AT ONCE. No big bang, no slow hissing sound, no warning at all. I didn't have my phone with me so I couldn't call an orthopedic jaws of life. The mattress suddenly slams the upper half of my body into a small corner of the bunk area. All that remains left are my two legs sticking out from the mattress.

 

I felt like I was squashed by a Sumo Wrestler. I couldn't tell where my left arm was and not quite sure my right arm was still attached. People will always tell you, "watch your head!" The last I knew it was being used as a battering ram. Suddenly I hear the wild call of an African Barking Spider, better known as Farty Mcfly... well, found my lower half. I slither my way out from under the mattress, check to see if I still have movement in my upper body and collapse onto the lower bunk. Why no hard hat required label?

 

My mind starts wandering... what if I somehow got stuck in there for weeks. How would the headlines read?

 

"Man found still conscious swallowed by monster mattress."

 

After the mattress quietly simmered down on a full stomach, I fitted it with bed sheets. This bunk is more comfortable than my bed at home, but then again, this is my home away from home. I'm just glad it wasn't memory foam because I would rather it forget this moment.

 

Good Night all.